So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
