it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
