And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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