then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
