All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
