Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize