Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
