Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
