People in love make me want to vomit
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
