i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i drank out of a bidet.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
