Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
