One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
