Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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