I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
