I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want to make out with him forever
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
