this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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