Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
