i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
