I wish I could punch you in the face.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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