gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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