I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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