i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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