i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
