You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
