theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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