So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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