I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
