i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
