"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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