just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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