4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
