Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I swear she didn't look like that last week.

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(805): View more from California

found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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(678): View more from Georgia

SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her

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(802): View more from Vermont

hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore

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(559): View more from California

Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes

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(619): View more from California

I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing

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(425): View more from Washington

I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.

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