It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize