did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
