I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
