I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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