Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
