Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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