lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
