Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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