Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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