Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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