I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
