I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
