It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize