I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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