What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
