Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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