i wish starbucks made bloody marys
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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