Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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