if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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