where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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