There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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