Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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