life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
