I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
