Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
