we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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