i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
