I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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